Undiscovered Feelings of Premature Babies 

My sister and I were both premature babies. At the time of writing, I am 58 and Sue is 65 .The feelings we experienced at that time have surfaced for both of us.as we began the long process of Unfolding Enlightenment.We now realise that the feelings that we experienced then had coloured our lives.

I connected to a devastating and deep feeling of sadness; it was like a black hole of emotion. This had occurred twice whilst I had been at a Reiki Share. As I Talked about the feeling, I remembered the story of my birth. I had been born early one morning at home, seven weeks prematurely. It was in the 1950’s in a small Suffolk village. The local G.P. came and convinced I would not survive, wrapped me in a blanket and put me on the front seat of his sports car to take me to the Ipswich Hospital. There I was put straight into an incubator.

My father rang the hospital the next day to see how I was. The Ward Sister said she wanted me named because it was still thought I would die. Mother, recovering from the birth, was of course not able to visit the hospital straight away. As I recalled this story, my heart began to race and tears came to my eyes, I realised I had identified the cause of the feeling. This has since happened again, and as I talked the emotion surfaced once more. 

As a young child, this deep emotion surfaced several times and I remember crying myself to sleep in this deep misery, never knowing from where it came. So, at last I have the opportunity to clear this emotional baggage. For my sister, she has a deep feeling of being sad and alone and not wanting to be so.

‘Sue’s story: Throughout my life I have always got fed up, down or depressed on or around my birthday in early September. It has often lasted from a few days to two months (longer if it was connected to a life changing trigger). The onset always seemed to be September no matter what avoidance tactics I tried to use. For many years I had thought (without any evidence) that this could be linked to being born prematurely in September and being in an incubator for two months.

It wasn’t until I did Reiki that I realised this could indeed be the case. After a course of Metamorphic Technique several years ago, I have never been depressed at that time again. 

Recently, however, another aspect of this came up following a family emergency. As I dealt with it (alone initially), I was overwhelmed with waves of deep sadness, fear and unbearable feelings of being absolutely and totally alone and unable to cope. As I discussed this with my sister later, I was suddenly able to see the pattern. I thought about all the other life changing events in my life when I had felt these emotions. When would I have had my first experience of being/feeling totally alone, isolated, full of fear, with intense sadness? Answer, when I was born two months prematurely, taken from my mother and put in an incubator for two months!’

Robina continues: Imagine it: you spend 8-9 months inside your mother, hearing her heartbeat and her voice etc. Then you are parted abruptly and put into an incubator. You experience deep feelings [probably of loss, anger, sadness and fear) and you are helpless to do anything about it. So the first stage of your emotional pattern is set and this setting of emotional patterns carries on for six years. This pattern is what you repeat throughout your lifetime until you clear it (or not). Your life experiences are geared around these first six years of life.

A friend said that her son had been premature and found that he could not hug her. My sister and I also share this experience. We found it very difficult to hug our mother or have her hug us. The bonding seemed not to be there on her side and certainly wasn’t on ours. In fact a part of me felt unloved. There are many premature babies out there and mothers who perhaps for some reason or another were not able to spend time with the baby in the incubator. I desire to highlight that this scenario causes emotional pain on both sides, and I hope this article brings it to the fore to be noticed.

My sister and I are lucky in that we are both the co founders of Unfolding Enlightenment , we had the benefit of the spirit healing teams to help us and the use of flower essences to reveal our emotional pains that have been hidden away, and can heal ourselves. Many others not so aware will go a lifetime and not discover these feelings or understand the impact they have on their emotional lives.

Robina Hearle and Sue Stothard .
unfoldingenlightenment.com 

3 thoughts on “Undiscovered Feelings of Premature Babies 

  1. Wow, this resonated for me, I was premature too but perhaps only by 10 days. I do not know whether I was put in an incubator, but my mother talked every year on my birthday about the struggle of my birth, walking home from my paternal grandparents home after christmas dinner because there were no taxis to be found and then going into labour and having to walk to the hospital because there were no ambulances either. This seemed strange, surely ambulances don’t all go off on the same day. She recalls stopping at my old school and grabbing onto the metal bars that made up the surrounding fence, quite high too. I believe I was born at 4:2? something am, although I was never able to get that confirmed by my mother who only relived the nightmare this was for her. She didn’t walk alone mind you, my father walked with her but was quickly separated from her once they reached the hospital. I know the walk my mother did well and there would have been two hills on the way home from my paternal grandparents in the adjacent small town, but the walk to the hospital would have had two downhills.

    I have to admit that I wasn’t overly sympathetic to my mother’s plight in the later years as it seemed morbid to keep reliving this experience that didn’t seem to bring joy with the coming of your first child, but this morbid story. I remember being told to walk as much as possible when in labour with my first son, they told me it would help smooth labour and it did and it also helped with the pain in my lower back that came with labour pains when I was laying down. I did try explaining this to my mother, but her memory was securely fixed on her version.

    I can relate to some of the emotions you talked about in this post although I’ve not paid close enough attention to know all of the times this happens. I don’t tend to get overly emotional on my birthday, but I do crave communications with all three sons on that day.

    My mother and I had a troubled relationship, when growing up I seemed to be her protector during the many verbal and physical fights she had with my father and the surrogate mother to my siblings. When older she leaned on me a lot during times in her life when she faced problems, mostly of her own doing. The one time I was able to truly support her was during her breast cancer scare, she had lumps that were removed successfully and I was able to be there for all of the doctors and hospital visits required. I continued to support her after this, my father had already passed, visiting, taking her out and so on. She eventually turned on me although now as I look back she was in the start of her dementia.

    Oh dear, sorry to have written so much, but it brought back lots of memories and I know I have more memories, but for now I am sure this is enough.

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      1. Thanks Robina, its actually the first time I have written those thoughts out too. I knew that I had them from time to time, but not all at once like that. ❤

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